Set Yourself On Fire

Alex Grey. Explaining Everything. Without Words.

2011-10-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

I guess I should have known

I shouldn't have been surprised,

Yet I could not believe

the images in front of my eyes!

BEHOLD!

Mystic Wonder

In technicolor form

This man has talents I thought,

Way above the norm!

I could've stayed for hours

marveling at his form

observing his artistic powers

made my heart feel warm!

If you haven't seen the show,

You better make your way

to the Art galleries of West Chelsea

You won't regret the day!

Also currently featured at this gallery is the work of Pablo Amaringo. He has a similar style to Alex Grey, and yet is completely different in his execution. His current show is called Shamanic Illusion. See photos below...

BUT ACT FAST FOLKS! SUPPLIES ARE ONLY WHILE THEY LAST! THIS GALLERY IS ENDING ON 10/22/11!!

It's location is 529 W20th Street between 10th and 11th avenues. Please go. You will be glad you did!

Apparently "Hella" is the new school cool

2011-07-05T21:28:00.000-07:00

Whats up my peeps that be hella chill

I wish you were chillen

up on my window sill...

Hanging out

Groovin' out in the sun

Cause you being around

makes life hella fun!

ATTN: SITE READERS! PLACES TO BE AND SEE AND.... PEE?

Upchuck: Albany Bulb

Deconstructed construction

has been living here

Reconstructed again

by people with cheer.

Exists for those struggling

with existence themselves,

No worries, no fears

only art full of vision

Come see for yourself

then make your decision.

I guarantee a good time

and adventure for all

and you know the best part?

You don't spend a dime!

Albany Bulb is located just outside of Berkeley in Albany, located in the East Bay. Definitely worth a visit when in the area, and my advice? Find Mad Mark's Castle, they knew the spot. For more pictures check out my facebook!

Pullulate

2011-06-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

You could
have walked
down,

The opposite
side of Vine.

Instead,
you parade
your life
past my soul.

It is shredded
into thousands
of little pieces

and disperses
itself into

the craters
of Mind.

Never to return.
Self-damaging
at all costs.

-Ailee John

UPCHUCK! Indian Rock by DAY HAAAAAYYYYYYY

2011-06-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are slackers and missed my first post regarding Indian Rock you can find that here. For those already in the know here are some pictures of Indian Rock by day. Great place to come and have a picnic while taking in the beauty of the surrounding Bay. Also lots of fun to come and watch those who boulder and rock climb!

Magical, Mystical, Surreal for sure...

Steps carved right in

but without a door

Anxious Ascent

and then you can see

the Bay by day in all its glory!

Telegraph but mainly CREAM

2011-06-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

Why hello! my inquisitive viewers! Hope your day wherever you are has been enjoyable :)

I'm here to bring you updated info on my journey of a lifetime through Berkeley CA and the entire BAY area.

Today's agenda:

Telegraph Avenue

is an awesome place to spend the day. Street vendors are plentiful from hand made silver jewelry to patches, henna, tie-dye and the like! It's all very exciting. Not to mention you can head to MARS... not the planet your probably thinking of but the perfect planet for die-hard vintage lovers. And the best thing about MARS? Thrift store prices! -- Okay so not completely "thrift" store prices but definitely excellent prices for almost pristine condition vintage clothing. (Hell yeah my clothing junkies I know you be appreciating that)

There's also great bookstores that buy, sell and trade books of all sorts such as Shakespeare Bookstore. I have been to all the head shops on Tele and I definitely recommend Big Al's (boss) they have got great locally blown creative and artistic pieces.

For the music lovers there's Rasputin a music store selling new and used CDs and DVDs at great prices. Not just your run of the mill stuff either. Great rare rock and roll versions can be found for the likes of the Rolling Stones, Hendrix, Beatles etc. This place is truly a music lovers paradise. If you're making a special trip in, call the store, sometimes on occasion live performances take place on the 2nd (loft) floor. Raleigh's across and down the street is a great local bar with its own beer and a young college atmosphere. Visit here on your 21st birthday but be prepared to chug your pint of free Guinness ON the bar.

There's so much funky fun to unravel on this road but one of my favorites since arriving in the Bay Area is CREAM Ice Cream Shop standing for Cookies Rule Everything Around Me. Here you can find fresh baked perfectly soft cookies and eccentric ice cream! Just 2$ for an ice cream cookie sandwich, AND bonus: you can pick different types of cookies YUM! My personal favorite? Cinnamon Caramel ice cream between 2 butter sugar cookies OOOOOH WEEEEEE !!

Oh and for those NY fans... there's a Chipotle too!

Pleasant day to you! Check back soon :)

As Promised...

2011-06-16T14:47:00.000-07:00

The sunset/moon rise at Indian Rock was super stunning!

i promised to bring
pix to the peeps
so imma keep
my promises
i speak

BEHOLD--!

Mind blowing experiences left and right in the Bay of CA ALLL DAYYY :)

Stay tuned pawty people

What to do in the Bay Area? Why, love life of course!

2011-06-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

Greetings my fellow earthlings..

It is another beautiful day in the bay and I am loving life.
There's nothing here to cause any person strife.
I recommend to all no matter far or near,
And when you come in to visit you will leave here
Full of Cheer!!

Anywhoozit--

I plan to go to a place called Indian Rock in the not so distant future but could possibly be more distant than I know... it is a place from which you can see all other places, ponder over faces, or even to create some real nice spaces.

I should have some photos for you soon :)

Enjoy your place, wherever it is!

A Bouquet for a Dollar

2011-06-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday as I was leaving Sassafrisco, about to BART back to the east bay Berk... I met a rather charming and eloquent homeless man selling bouquets of flowers for only a dollar. What a deal and what an interesting character!

Berkeley Art Funkadunk

2011-06-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

This was an awesome surprise...

Walking home in Berkeley on Shattuck Ave...

some really awesome sidewalk art!!

YAHOO :)

Dispatch in Berkeley!!!

2011-06-13T00:03:00.000-07:00

Dispatch speaking--
Please hold
for westbound 51 train...

Super chill vibes
to an awesome beat!
Dispatch concert
to end my week?

Loving life
and full of love
theres no other time
I've been thinking of..

Just NOW

Music playing,
trees in the air
found my way
to the Haight St Fair.

History grooves
between the streets
of right Now...

WOW EE OW!
bow chicka bow!

Supa Freak
from the land
of Funk YEAH!

North Berkeley

2011-06-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

Howdy doody folks! So today I was strolling through the neighborhoods around my house. There were some pretty cool sights to see. All the homes in this area are so unique to each other! The gardens are also like something out of a fantasy.... I couldn't help but smile and laugh to myself as I was walking through the streets because it is all just so fantastical... All I can say is.. the things that are said about California are true. No hype here these peoples is livin tha lyfe-

The photo of the sunset is from my window and its the Tule fog rolling in for the night from the bay. Crazy fog out here.

This last photo was taken in the Gourmet Ghetto of North Berkeley... some kind of food stands set up here..

So far my experience of this neighborhood has been great. The people are friendly, smiles are exchanged on the streets. Everyone is simply living life and it's a great thing to bear witness to! Full of good vibes and better food I'm falling in love already!

Stay tuned because the Haight Asbury Street Fair is this weekend! A day of peace and love in a place filled with all sorts of history of the very same thing! In the words of Paul Tetor "Peace Love and all that other hippie shit"

Comin to you live fre$$$hh outta Berkeley California

2011-06-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

What's happenin' my party people? Word on the street is that California knows how to pawty and since being here I'm not saying any different!

Aww yeah the sun is shining the haze is hangin and the trees is beautiful babies the trees is be-a-ut-iful!

So listen, this is your spot to j chill and kick it and imma keep the updates comin to you as live as I can, so don't go anywhere now you hear? Berkeley CA comin to you...

Peace n LoVe and GrOOvin

Rothbury

2010-05-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

The crowd moves as one--
like gears of the universe.
Minds become one--
as absolute experience
is shared among us.

The music courses
through my veins
igniting my soul
so that my entire being
dances to life's rhythm.

As the tie-dye sky morphs
to a lush cobalt blue,
the surrounding energy
becomes electrified.

I look around me--
smiling faces emerge,
splashed by a kaleidoscope
of superb colors
and glow of inner ecstasy.

I smile to myself
as a thought enters my mind--
There's no place
I'd rather be now
than where I am.

-Ailee John

Stars

2010-05-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

Neola Road slinks below you--

you who lie in the lush velvet

of a summer's night sky.

I step out of my Volvo S60

and turn my face to marvel

in your delightful essence.

My mind flashes to those

rarely graced by your presence.

To New York City--

a world that knows nothing

of the pure magnificence it foolishly dilutes.

Competing against your splendor,

its skyscrapers banish you

yet I know you are only in hiding.

For now, you and I know different realms.

One natural, one man-made.

But someday, I will return again,

to stand speechless and smiling

beneath your twinkling tent,

which covers this world.

-Ailee John

Purple Micro Dot

2010-05-10T18:53:00.000-07:00

It appears there are slight
discrepancies here.
Or there.
And perhaps everywhere—
as a general rule.

Do you in fact know
where it is that we are?

It would seem,
that you and I are both here—
in this moment paused at this
word.

Yet, I am not there with you
as you sit there to read this
word.

Or the line below;
Something about
Being in two places at once
Which may or may not
be the case,
here.

In any case,
I used to be here—
where you are now,
so I guess in some form
what we have here
is something illustrative
of sharing…

Our Experiences

-Ailee John

A "Found" Poem

2010-05-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

Horoscope

Sometimes you need
to just wander
off on your own
and deal with life--
or think things through.

Today's thoughtful energy
helps you make
some serious headway
into a difficult problem.

-Ailee John

Okay so just in case you are unsure of what a "found" poem is, I will give a little explanation. It is when you find something just written such as a paragraph in a story, copy in an advertisement or so on so forth and then you take this writing and add line breaks in order to turn it into an effective poem. For this poem, I used my daily horoscope that is emailed to me every day! I hope you enjoyed!

Twilight Zone

2010-05-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is, but I'm really crazy about this chandelier... and the wall paper that is behind it...It's so -- mesmerizing.

HAHA.

Anyway I saw this at a place on the L.E.S called National Underground... it's a pretty cool place, I suggest a look see at E Houston and Allen St.

Manifest your Happiness

2010-04-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

The universe works in mysterious ways... I'm telling you.

It's funny how you can find a person to talk to and somewhere in that conversation that person will say the exact thing that you know you have been needing to hear.

Recently, I was speaking about such universal things with a person and they said something that resonated with my soul.

They said, "your reality is created from the inside out, not the outside in."

I found that completely lovely. So often I think that there cannot be this many things to be negative about, or upset about or even worried about. But I think what happens is that we forget we are even being negative and so we begin to do it throughout our life subconsciously.

As humans, we are all running around frantic about things and if we begin to have negative thoughts, it somehow turns into negative results.

I guess what I am speaking of is manifestation.

Manifestation is the idea of "think and it shall be so" in a sense. It says that if we think positively about ourselves and situations, many positive things can come from it, but if we constantly dwell on negativity then those negative thoughts actually become our reality.

Sometimes I think that people need to make that conscious decision to be positive rather than negative, and we would all be much better off. After all, we're in all of this together.

I know from personal experience that sometimes I feel this wave of "depression" coming for me. And I could very easily let it overtake me and consume me bit by bit. I will sit there alone and bored and nothing good comes from that for me.

BUT what I've been trying to do instead is that every time whenever this negative feeling comes, instead of succumbing to my own negativity, I make the conscious decision to think about the positive stuff instead!

Now, I'm not saying I succeed 100% of the time, but I am becoming much better. It's so easy and anyone can do it!

So next time you start to feel down, think if you are the one making it that way. If so, do a quick 180 and bring on the fleet of positive vibes to conquer the negative ones!

Positive thinking can make the world go round :)

Until next time... manifest good and share it with those around you!

True Talent from Amelia Photography

2010-04-16T10:42:00.000-07:00

Amongst other things, my friend Hannah is a photographer. Her talent for finding beauty in common objects and her visualization is jaw dropping. She once told me "I don't even know if I want to be a photographer." To which I replied, "Well you don't have to have a job as a photographer, but you have an unbelievable talent for it so whatever you do, it has to be part of your life, perhaps as a hobby if nothing else."

I first met Hannah during my first year at college, she happened to be living in the room across the hall from mine. On move-in day I saw her moving into her room from mine and I noticed that we had brought the same quilt, different colors. I then proceeded to notice her outfit. She wore cut off blue denim shorts, a white V-neck tee which it appeared she had cropped herself, black slip on sneakers and an interesting buffalo nickel pendant necklace that had been crafted so that just the Indian head remained in the circle, leaving other parts cut out. It was something I would have never thought to put together but it was chic in every way. I wondered to myself if we would get to be friends, I hoped that we would be, but wasn't sure if she'd find me interesting.

Well, lucky for me, over the course of the year I got to know her and her photography as well. Even before she began to work on her photography at school the photos that she brought in from her high school and previous summers floored me. She made common items look extraordinary, landscapes wowed with color and there is always this feel of unexpected juxtapositions which never doubts to mesmerize. To me she is a true surrealist.

Now, I don't know anything technical about photography, so I will not pretend I do. But I do know that talent has a way of moving people, and what is usually funny is that the artist did not even have to break their back to achieve it. While some photos grab me more than others, I was looking through her flickr (which I will share with you) and I could not find a single photo that wasn't captivating in some way.

I also love to watch her work. Sometimes when she tells me about her idea I'm not really sure what to expect. Next thing I know I see it all unfold and the ideas are tirelessly brilliant! I still might not have any clue what is in the frame of her camera when she clicks the button, but once the images are up and loaded on the computer I'm usually freaking out because they are exquisite!

So in light of all this, I wanted to share some of them with you because I never get tired of experiencing her photos so I brought some of my favorites.. because if I would have brought them all I wouldn't be able to ever fit anything else ever again on this blog haha. So because I couldn't bring them all... it is impertinent that you visit her website in order to view them for yourself!

You can find the rest of her photographs HERE on flickr under Amelia Photography here are some favs of mine:

Some Gallery Updates

2010-04-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hello der peoples! Today is my 4th day of being facebook free-- and I'm finally beginning to feel just that! In fact, I barely thought about facebook at all today! It feels awesome! And the best part is I know it's only going to keep getting easier! Anyway that's all I have to say about that!

So tonight, like any other Thursday night I went to galleries with my friends from school. Every Thursday of the month the art galleries have their openings. I wanted to share a bit of the art I saw tonight with you.

This first picture is a piece of art from one of the galleries tonight. It was painted and it was incredibly precise. I don't know about you but I could easily get lost in this piece of art.

The picture in the middle is also from a gallery. This artist was great at playing with the field of depth. I quite enjoyed his art a lot. I believe his medium for this was film.

The last is one of the buildings that the galleries were inside. I thought it was a very interesting building architecturally.

There were many other photos that I took tonight that were just as great, but I have limited space on here. If I ever go back to facebook (who am i kidding?) they will be posted on there.

I really hope everyone enjoyed these pics and I also hope that you yeah you! the one reading this-- I hope you get to observe some art of your own because art is unique in that the beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Every piece of art can be experienced as something different based on the person who is viewing it. That is the magic.

Until next time.. create some art of your own.

John Butler Trio - Ocean

2010-04-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

The name of the song is Ocean... The name of the man is John Butler.
This song is just absolutely incredible. I have never seen anyone play guitar the way he plays! It is absolutely breathtaking!!!
He just released a new album called April Uprising. It is a great album along with his previous others. I think that John Butler really knows how to move someone with his music and he is one of my favorites! Saw him at Rothbury and I hope I will see him again in the near future.

Please enjoy! And check out his other songs!

Beautiful Tree

2010-04-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful tree that I passed in New York.. if you have the ability to see in in NYC before the blossoms die comment me and I will let you know its location. It really is a great sight to behold. :)

and so it stays...

2010-04-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

Welp, hello there reader! If there is one...

Today is my 3rd day of attempting to live facebook free. On the positive side, yesterday I finished all of my homework with time to spare and because I still want to be on the computer I am actually driven to write a blog post everyday. I also took time to realize that there are a plethora of other websites available to me and so yesterday I also spent some time reading on matters of interest to myself. Unfortunately, I am still feeling that I want to rip my hair out haha. But, it's still early and so the feeling of withdraw is still present.

I remember back in May 2008 I had an iphone and one day I was sitting on my boyfriend's couch which happens to be a sectional. And my phone fell down into a part of the sectional that you couldn't move apart. I had the idea that if I pulled out the leg rests that the phone would be freed and would fall down onto the floor where I might be lucky enough to grab it. Well, needless to say things did not go exactly as planned. As soon as I pulled the lever I heard a discerning CRAAACK! Not only that horrifying sound, but no dropping sound after either further signaling me that I had failed miserably.
Well, after this, I still needed to rescue my phone and so my boyfriend got a pair of scissors and managed to pry it out from between the mechanism that way. When he handed me my iphone, it was no longer able to lay flat on a table. It was bent so that it actually rocked back and forth. The screen had also been shattered, which rendered it useless.

SO WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY?

Well, the first week of my life without my phone was HELL! I was absolutely miserable! I couldn't stand not having the ability to reach any number of my friends at my fingertips. But, slowly and surely as I went on more and more without a cell phone I became happier and happier. I was able to do what I wanted and no one could bother me. I didn't have to worry about screening someone's calls that I didn't want to talk to and worrying about running into them later and having to explain myself. I had a legitimate reason-- my phone was broken. I was untouchable. I could go where I want, and do what I want and I didn't have to worry about people reaching me.. and by July that summer... I didn't care. I was free from my "lifeline." It started to get to other people though.. so much so that sooner or later the person who I would be hanging out with would get a phone call.. but the person calling would be asking to speak with me.

SOO I am hoping that this prevails the same way and that after so long it won't matter to me anymore about my facebook. And so if you are one of those people that relys on those things to keep in contact with me.. Well I guess there is just going to have to be another way. Like oh my god. You might actually have to have a face-to-face conversation with me. I KNOW! What a thought!

Anyway.. until we talk again.. I hope that your technology is everything that you want it to be. And chances are if the phrase "Ugh they are calling me again" is part of your vocabulary... then maybe it's time for you to reconsider some things yourself.

An Experiment

2010-04-13T14:39:00.000-07:00

So, recently I have decided that I am going to try a new little experiment in my life. I have decided to try and live without facebook. It sounds so completely trivial, but fact of the matter is, it's not as simple as it sounds.

Practically every person is on facebook now days. This includes parents, professors, and finally businesses are jumping on board.

Facebook started out as a great idea-- a way to keep in contact with friends that you don't see everyday in order to find out what is going on with their lives. However, now it has turned into an obsession where you can practically stalk people and nothing in anyone's life is a secret anymore.

Also when you think in terms of our government. Facebook could very well be a government program where every single person is tracked because they submit themselves to such tracking willingly. With statuses that tell people their every move and pictures that show them in places near their homes. Although it has its advantages...I think that there are many negatives to be said about facebook.

I mainly started this process because I spent way too much time on my facebook when I could have been outside enjoying a nice day, or when I should have been doing my homework.

This is offically my second day being free of facebook and I must admit I am struggling. It really is a hard thing to let go of. To be honest, the habit had gotten so bad that sometimes I still turn on my computer and click the facebook link where I am brought to the homepage and I go YIKES! How did I end up here? I didn't mean to. haha.

But it really is hard. I miss talking to my friends, and seeing what they are doing. I miss sharing what I am doing with others. But I think it is important to be without this technology for some time because just 5 or 6 years ago it did not exist.

We become so sucked into technology and dependent on it that we lose our real connections to lives-- as in face-to- face. Also, let's face it. I do not need to know every single step that you take when you go to the bathroom, sleep, or school.

These next 1-2 weeks (minimum) I am devoting myself to cleansing myself of facebook and its rediculousness. Maybe after the initial hard part of withdraw is over, who knows maybe I will have no desire to go back! Let's hope! Here I go! I am going to be free! (Well more than before anyway)

P.S. What kind of word is deactivate anyway? Doesn't sound human to me. Think about it.

Times Like These and Times Like Those

2010-04-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

When things in your life are happening... that you can't explain..

just trust in the universe and believe that everything is happening for a reason.

That's what I am trying to do..

It's what I need to believe..

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

A Bit From My Past

2010-04-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Today I am bringing a special treat to those reading this. I've just gone over my most recent journal and I decided I'm going to share a few excerpts from my thoughts past that really got me thinking again...

enjoy.

3/18/09 9:54 PM

...Ugh. Death. It's just such a huge concept and so unknown and so.... inconvenient. That sounds horrible doesn't it? Of course death is inconvenient what else is it going to be? I wonder why life is the way it is. Why do you learn how to cope with one tragedy and then receive another? It really makes me wonder if everyone has a final date already set and thats it for you, that is your DAY, the day death is yours. Or, is it just random? You don't have a time, things just happen and they are unlucky. Of course no one knows, or do they? What about those people who die, and are officially dead but are revived back to life. Do they know what death is like? Can they remember? Can they tell us? When they were dead I wonder if a voice told them it was not their time yet and they were allowed to come back to life. I want to meet one of these people. Maybe they know more than the rest of us. I don't want want to deal with all this. It's so frustrating. Sometimes when I think about life and death, living and dying the concepts are so wide and abstract and they are real. Or are they? I don't really like it when my mind wanders to these places because it is such an intense thing to grasp. There's a lot I think people don't realize like time moves incredibly fast, and a person's lifetime is an eternity to them, but nothing in the sense of overall time. Everyone is going to get older and eventually they will die. It's so odd. These concepts all seem so upfront until you really explore them. Life, Death its so uncertain. If you live in fear of dying isn't a part of you already dead? I don't know. This probably doesn't make any sense. Who knows....

7/7/09 9:37 PM

....WHY am I so angry? I didn't know I was that angry. I guess now I know. But what's next? I don't want to be angry anymore. I can't be angry anymore. I just can't do it. I've got to start over. I've got to let it ALL go. Everything. And start new. I've got to try at least. I HAVE to be different....

....Life is so confusing. I don't know what I want anymore. Things I used to dream of don't really make sense anymore. But part of me still wants them. Most of us (humans) are all fake. We act like we are golden and we do so much but secretly we're selfish. The world is selfish. Human wants are infinite. Nothing and no one is/are what they seem....

7/19/09 11:53 PM

Detached from the world is how I spent my day....

Today I had a thought about cars. They are so strange. It's like we're all driving our own little capsules! Odd Odd Odd!

The book Be Here Now= extraordinary absolutely mind blowing!

8/1/09 2:45 AM

Why is it that I'm always up late? I don't like to sleep late.....

...this isn't all about me. It is about us.
America, the world, we all need to wake the fuck up! Stop being oppressed.
People need to FEEL again. The world has been too NUMB.

That is what is happening. People are becoming numb.

I will not be numb. I always want to feel the world, the universe. I want to interact.
Everyone should interact!!

I work at Barley. Do you know what I notice? I notice people avoid eye-contact and become nervous around people (myself and others) greeting them at the door. It is so odd. Most people would rather just walk by and ignore the person.

A very imporant movie: Waking Life
A good game: scattergories. I can't believe I haven't played in so long, it's great brain exercise! I love it.

Well that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed.
Until next time.. relive your own moments, you'll find yourself revealed in them.

own worst enemies.

2010-03-28T21:47:00.001-07:00

the greatest battles you will ever fight
will be with yourself.

LISTEN UP PEOPLES!

2010-03-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, In this post I am going to discuss weed. This will be my only weed-based post. So enjoy.

First, I just want to clarify that I am for the decriminalization of marijuana- therefore, you may find this post to be slightly biased... well, too bad! This is my blog, so if you want to read it, you can suck it up.

First and foremost, I do not consider weed to be a drug. Things I do consider to be drugs are heroin, cocaine, acid, alcohol, tobacco and prescription drugs. Notice, 3 of the 6 I listed are legal.
I'm going to begin by saying that if you were to look at a chart plotting substance abuse and substance dependency on the y and x axes (you can find such a chart on wikipedia) you would find alcohol and tobacco to be just below heroin and cocaine, and marijuana to be significantly lower. Yet, our society allows alcohol and tobacco to be legal. CRAZY! And I bet, if you ask yourself about some people that you know who smoke weed more often than they drink alcohol you would most likely agree that this person is much more in control of their life and doing significantly less damage on their brain and body.

Marijuana is a plant. The active ingredient is Tetrahydrocannabinol or also known as THC. When weed is harvested correctly, it is not altered chemically by any means the way other drugs are. It is natural and can be grown in soil or water, just like any other plant. This THC is what makes it even possible for anyone to even have a guts to group weed with other hard drugs, because THC affects brain receptors and this is the "psychoactive" ingredient in the marijuana. If you want to get really technical, you can research THC online.

So now I'm assuming you've heard that well "if you start smoking weed, you are likely to engage in other experimental drugs and thus inevitably will become a drug addict." WRONG. Let me tell you how people who smoke weed become drug addicts.
YOU SEE: from elementary all the way through high school students are required to take Health education classes. These classes are extremely misleading and poorly taught so students are not being educated properly. They are taught that marijuana is a bad drug- just as bad as heroin let's say, so one day a student smokes weed, and begins to smoke weed more regularly. As it becomes regular for them they think hmm this is not that bad, I kind of like it, maybe I will try something new.
Because this person has been taught that weed is an equal to the likes of cocaine, meth etc, and they experience weed to not be very harmful, it is no wonder they think it's okay to try these hard drugs. So now they are snorting cocaine and they think they can handle it- its no big deal and it's kind of a joke because all of a sudden they are addicted to this substance. And NO WONDER! It has them hard. Because it IS a drug. Marijuana cannot compare.
THEREFORE: I think weed needs to be put into a completely different category, or taken out altogether and you know what? Why don't you put depression medication in its place huh?

Now I want to discuss some effects on the body-
Let's look at tobacco. There are some people I know who would rather smoke cigarettes than smoke weed. Let me just say, they leave me speechless. Tobacco's ingredients are well known. Rat poison (arsenic), Tar- you know like on the road.. would you lick pavement? No? Then don't smoke cigarettes! I needn't go on about the ingredients.. we all know. Tobacco also harms your lungs. In fact many 100's of 1000's of people die from lung cancer. Maybe I am wrong, but I have never known any case reported where a person has died from gaining lung cancer as a result of smoking weed. Also, I can run. I can sprint. I was on varsity track and varsity field hockey and I can run pretty fast. If I am in shape- meaning I work out regularly my weed smoking has yet to affect me.
Alcohol damages your brain and your liver. There is also going to be the risk of the disgustingly prevalent disease known as Alcoholism. I will not elaborate. Most know it is a horrible thing to happen to anyone.

HOWEVER

I will say the only negative way that weed has affected me. I am not so good when it comes to instantaneous memory recovery. Meaning- my long term memory is good, my short term memory is good, but my instantaneous memory is pretty bad. MEANING- I walk up my stairs often, get to my room and cannot remember what I came there for right away. However, this has been shown in clinical studies that this memory does repair after long term stopping of smoking. Oppositely, Those brain cells you kill with booze- they aint coming back!

So now you might have been told that people who smoke weed are losers who are unmotivated and will do absolutely nothing of value with their lives. Some might call them "stoners" and "pot heads." Let me assure you. The problem is NOT smoking weed. It's the fact that they are just lazy fucks (excuse my language) who don't give a crap about anyone in their life including themselves for WHATEVER reason they have created. They CHOOSE to be unproductive. I for one, know plenty of intelligent people who are regular weed smokers, some of them pharmacy students, doctors, lawyers, 6-figure CEOs and such. I myself have a 3.8 GPA and consider myself to be very driven. Go figure.

Since this post is getting pretty long, I think I shall begin to wrap it up.

Lastly,
Hard drugs take people up very very high, but after they reach the climax of that high you better believe they're going to fall a long way. A good quote for this would be "What goes up, must come down." You also lose your appetite- cokeheads know all about this. If you have taken hard drugs ever or drank alcohol you know that the next day or hours coming down you feel like complete and utter shit. There's no way around it. You are lazy, sluggish, tired, aching, irritable and the list goes on and on.
After smoking weed people generally tend to feel happy, and hungry, and overall more relaxed. The next day you don't feel bad at all. In fact you might find yourself more energized. For those of you who are about to blurt out something about paranoia- let me assure you this is all in your head and entirely up to you. Stop trying to think like your normal mind would think! That's your problem. Weed takes you to a different level of consciousness because it is psychoactive MEANING- you have to let go and let your mind wander because the same rules do not apply here as do on the mind's average plane. SO just calm down and take a deep breath and remember.. no worries, no ones coming after you.

Also-FYI just a minor anecdote- the pharmaceutical industry are the ones who pay big bucks to keep marijuana illegal because it has the ability to cure many diseases and disorders that their synthetic heroin types treat, and therefore legalization would take a huge chunk off the revenues they make by giving people pills with atrocious side effects that in reality THEY DON'T EVEN NEED! Honestly, this is just appalling to me. See Here Read This or Here

So as I said, I could touch on more topics but that would make this post entirely too long, so I would just again like to say.. umm why is weed considered a drug? Why is it not legal if people can drink and smoke tobacco? Scratching your head? Yeah so are a lot of other people.. including me.

So until next time, why not do your research and ask yourself some questions about what's really going on here. If you figure it out, enlighten me, for surely I would love to know!

Street Bums

2010-03-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

I think that there is something to be said for homeless bums on the streets of NY or any other city for that matter.
Why?
Well, simply because they are trash picking treasure seekers. But really tis a good thing they do i'd say. I mean its impossible to realize how much we as humans waste on a daily basis, probably throwing out a lot of perfectly good items..
Now, I'm not condoning garbage picking food- ew... but other items makes one think.
I bet you they've found bunches of great things.. and they probably know all the best garbage cans to scour... maybe they even hold down their best known spot and if other bums come sniffing around there they bark at them to stay away hahaha. Just imagine.
But they really are doing our society a favor with their garbage picking in the sense that something that was going to get thrown away.. and end up in a land fill to further pollute our earth, did not because they plucked it from the rubbish and found a perfectly suitable use for it.Well Done!

hmmm what a thought...

the typical struggle

2010-03-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

"Cause all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding, and there are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how...yeah I don't know how"

Oh that song.. so good until it happens to you-- haha.

I don't really have anything to say in this post.. I'll just be blogging it in my head for the rest of eternity if I must.. doing everything to keep it inside of my mind.

The mind is a most dangerous place under the right circumstances..

one must be wary of the mind. it can enlighten you, but it also retains the power to destroy you. whAT a funny thing. and yes- so is life.

Music

2010-02-28T14:13:00.000-08:00

It never struck me until recently..
It is possible that there is nothing more beautiful than music.

Of course I think this never really occurred to me before because I never really felt the music I used to listen to... I just thought that it is music no big deal. You listen to it, you dance to it, but in the end the song is over right?

Wrong.

Every person needs to have music in their lives. It is incredibly lonely, and sad without it. I can't believe some people can actually carry on their lives without it.

The thing that really amazes me about music that I never realized is that each song is a feeling, an experience, or something unique to the person who plays or sings it, and when they do so there is a direct connection between you and them because the feeling that the music is giving you is the feeling that the person is feeling while they are performing. That is why I think live music gives an even greater impact. Seeing a show and watching that person go up on stage and take the audience on a journey. You are taken through that persons vibrations and you feel what they are feeling. The sense is euphoria.

The music IS that person, it IS their vibes and it's truly chilling some feelings that music can give you. I know that if i'm ever having a bad day, I put on that one song... and its incredible. The music does what no one could do, it literally lifts your soul and floats you around on its melody.

I love to share these types of songs with people. The songs that feel so good all you can think is oh my god, some one else HAS to know about this, they HAVE to feel this.

Sometimes I think about what it must be like to be a preforming musician. And sometimes I like to think about what a concert actually is. You know, it's all these people who have all this stuff going on in their lives and they come to this one place to see this one person or group of people and to just leave everything and escape and have a pleasurable time. And it's up to this musician or musicians to deliver that relief.

And if you've got someone who really feels it who can really get it started, you enter their groove and the other people around you enter the groove and everyone is there collectively grooving together in sync and I just think that there is nothing more beautiful than that collective mind.

I'm getting the chills just thinking about it right now.

Music can fix anything in your life that is emotional. It can get you through the tough times and it makes the best of times even better.

Music makes our lives go round. And sometimes I listen to music with my headphones on and i'm walking down the street and that music is the soundtrack to my life. It is how I feel, it depicts my life as it is in that moment and the satisfaction it produces is grandiose and people just take it for granted. I know I used to be one of them.

But we can't. Every note is worth appreciating. Every note is part of the person playing it and because of songs and recording all of those feelings poured out in the one song that will never come out the same way again is preserved forever so the magic can be revisited when you need it. It is pure, untouchable, incorruptible spirit.

So until next time, listen to the beauty of another with your mind, body and spirit.

ehifioehf--i got nothin

2010-02-16T18:20:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the moment I go to blog all thoughts leave my head? That really irritates me you know? I'll be like driving along or walking along depending on where I am and i'll have these thought processes that are long and exquisite and they're really rad and then the minute I sit down to remember and write any of them BOOM they're gone.

So then I sit here and I stare at this blank page and go "Fuck. I have nothing to write." And that sucks because it's bad enough people don't read my blog as it is, now I can't blame them because I literally have nothing to say. And then I think wow man, thats sad, how could I not have anything to say? Really Nothing? Yep.. still nothing.. and so I look around my desk where my laptop sits and try to conjure up ideas, which results in...

Failed Ideas:

- too much of a good thing can be a bad thing... like who hasn't heard that before.

- everything happens for a reason-- while true, is too cliche.

-victorias secret fashion show ticket- while noteworthy.. nahh

-rejected textbook.. snoozefest
-candles, flowers, colors... AHHHH

So here I sit and I'm mad at my brain for squirreling away all my good ideas for times that I can't write them down! LA LA LA...Still nothing.

And my computer keeps messing these fonts around on me and that's also irritating. Wow and you know what? If you are still reading up to this point then you must really be a good friend because if I was you I probably would have left by now since all I've said with all these characters is absolutely nothing over and over again..

And then AHA! a thought... just as I was giving up hope.. of my friend Cody.. whose birthday is tomorrow.. Happy Birthday Cody.. if you're reading this.. which you probably aren't but anyhow, we had a real interesting conversation recently about language and its lack of life. Like all these little characters like this t that I'm typing or that y and how language is just a tool of society, which we use to try and realize our reality.. which is a really confusing concept in itself and he knows cause I'm pretty sure we were confusing the hell out of each other and then all that reminded me of this film (and i'm going to say film cause it sounds more cultured and this is in fact a documentary) called "Waking Life" by Richard Linklater and there's a part in the movie where a women talks about language and how it is dead.

She says something to the effect of.. We were isolated so we as man created language as a way to transcend our isolation and so it started out as sounds like way back when if you wanted to warn someone "saber tooth tiger behind you!" we came up with a sound for that.. and so on and so on and so we have this modern language or that's what it claims to be but it fails in a way because 1 word will not have the same meaning for 2 different people unless they shared the meaning of that word together.. do you follow? So I can say LOVE and your mind reacts and goes through memories of "love" and "lack of love" and you say that you understand, but how can I know you understand because the truth is that our experiences of the word are different.

So you know what? I say fuck this language shit. People shouldn't be allowed to talk anymore you know why? Cause if we weren't allowed to talk a lot of our other senses would get stronger and instead people could read on VIBES because vibes are real and they can't lie the way that I can with these words that come out of my mouth. You dig? So why don't we all just start being silent.. we're probably get less annoyed with peoples lack of intellect too.

It's not going to catch on is it?

Yeah.. I didn't think so.. Oh well At least I had a thought cause that's what all this was about! hahaha

Until next time.. GIVE ME SOME IDEAS YOU PEOPLE WHO READ ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE GOD DAMNIT!! (Truly love you for it though.. really)

Nostalgia

2010-02-06T19:37:00.000-08:00

I love to remember good memories. There are few times when a human being can truly feel high, and no I don't mean drugs this time, but high as in a higher level of consciousness, and I think that feeling can often be found locked into the memories you may consider as your best.

I don't know what it is, but anytime I replay a meaningful event in my life, a pleasant one of course, this feeling of contentment just overwhelms me.

Aha! Something has just occurred to me. Someone once told me "Our lives pass in a blink of an eye, and it should always be the good memories we dwell on and not the bad" While that has always made sense, it makes even more sense now. Why is it that people would rather make themselves miserable over and over by remembering what happened that was so bad. It is much more satisfying to think about the moments when you were the happiest. Not only does it feel better, but I think it could also give great insight about what really makes you happy. Sometimes the memory doesn't even have to be a person. It can be a sight, a song, a scent. All of these things can be so perplexingly beautiful.

Memories also hold a special kind of power in the fact that they allow us to revisit our pasts and reveal to us who we once were, while showing us who we have become. They are like photographs only better because they hold that unquestionable feeling of experience to which all others forms of understanding are incompetent- hence the saying "I guess you had to be there"

My goal I think is that the next time I get upset about something, I am going to think about sometime where I was happy instead, and I will let that feeling of content fill me rather than let the negative feeling rip me apart.

Until next time, remember all that is good.

I don't know

2010-02-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

So it's been quite awhile since my last entry.. I guess that's what a break can do to you.

Anyway this time I want to talk about decisions that ultimately lead you where you eventually end up. You see one day I'm driving on that one road that I know so incredibly well, so well in fact that i could probably drive it with my eyes closed, and it is an unbelievably gorgeous day, the sun is high and the sky is blue and then that amazing feeling comes over me. You know the feeling I'm talking about. It's that feeling you get when everything is going your way, or that feeling you get listening to that one song that is so meaningful to you. It is incomparable to anything except for maybe a drug... and just then a thought slips into my mind. That thought being "Am I making the right choices in life?"

Now, I don't mean good choices as in stay away from the bad people, and study hard and work hard but I mean choices like did I make the right choice for colleges? Is this going to take me where I eventually want to be? It's a scary feeling... the unknown. I mean one could make himself sick going over it again and again in his mind.

Well I guess I don't know. Maybe you just have to go with your gut. I hope I've made a wise decision.

It's also a funny thing that sometimes the thing you think you want most in life turns out to be no where near what you end up wanting. It just takes time living what you thought you wanted just to find out it really doesn't make you any happier.

I'm starting to think that it really is the simple things in life that make you happy and it's not material at all. It's so funny how backwards a view can be until you finally begin to see clearly. And I mean really SEE. Sometimes I feel that people in general look and they say they see but do they really SEE? See the truth that is. A situation or a person for what or who it really is? I'm not sure. I think our world needs to pay better attention. We all need to OPEN our eyes and really see what this life is and then we can ask ourselves. Is this the right choice? Is this really what I want? And ultimately, am I happy?

Until next time.. are you happy?

Way of the Peaceful Warrior- a book that changes lives

2009-12-16T14:31:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I finally had time to finish a book I had been reading since the summer. It was recommended to me by a friend and I was not disappointed in the least!

The book is called Way of the Peaceful Warrior A Book That Changes Lives written by Dan Millman.

If anyone is looking for a great book to read over the holidays then this is just the ticket! I think that this novel can absolutely be appreciated by just about everyone no matter their interests, background or lifestyle. It is magical, captivating as well as inspirational. I don't want to say too much about the book because I think that it speaks for itself, so below is an excerpt of "advice" if you will that made a great impact on me.

"I wanted to whisper in people's ears, "Wake up! Wake up! Soon the person you believe you are will die- so now, wake up and be content with this knowledge:

There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the world, because it is all One, you see. And the only laws are paradox, humor and change. There is no problem, never was, and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life; just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe; you are yourself and everyone else, too! It's all the marvelous Play of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don't worry, you are already free!"

I wanted to say it to everyone I met, but if I had, they might have considered me deranged or even dangerous. I knew the wisdom of silence."

So I hope that has made you at least slightly interested enough to look up the book! If not, well perhaps sooner or later it till find its way into your life one way or another!

Until next time.. be happy.

Who am I?

2009-12-08T22:58:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone, or at least those still reading...

It has recently occurred to me at the comment of a friend that I haven't told you anything about myself since I began this blog. So I thought I would share a bit about myself for this time around.

Oh boy where to start..

I guess I could say first off that I think there are two parts to a person. The first part being how the person THINKS they are in their own head and the second part is how they ACTUALLY are in reality and when viewed (and let's face it "judged" in some way) by others.

I used to think I was many many things, and it wasn't until about my senior year of high school and into my first years of college that I realized I had myself all wrong. I used to think that I was completely normal and that I could never do any wrong. I also considered myself spontaneous and care-free. Looking back I think that all I had to do was experience more in life to realize that I did not have all the answers about life or myself. Over time I realized that every day is a new chance to learn and new chance to change and more importantly a new chance to become the person you want to be.

So maybe now you're wondering what did I learn about myself? Well I will tell you.

One of the first things I think I have to address is the fact that I am absolutely not normal. As to whether that is a good or bad thing remains to be seen (haha). I don't have a problem free family or a perfect life. I am definitely not care-free in fact I worry about a lot of things, most of them unnecessary, so that is definitely something that I am working on. I also learned that I can come off a certain way to people, which is not something that I'm sure a person can change being that you can't control other peoples minds--at least not yet. But, I think that the most important thing I have learned in all is what I actually want out of my life. You see, I used to be so materialistic and I wanted an independent, glamorous city lifestyle with lavish clothing, and parties and all I could see was me me me, nothing of real substance was in the picture. I knew my entire life plan from start to finish and god forbid it didn't happen exactly as I imagined it. While some of this is okay, extremes are usually never good. Since then, I have realized that life is so much more than all of that. And this next part might shock those of you who thought you knew me so well. I know I want to really live. I want to experience life and feel fulfilled. I want to experience new interests as often as possible. I want to be able to hike in the woods and clear my thoughts and travel to beautiful places all around the world. I want to share all of this with friends and a significant other. I don't want to live life with all the material possessions anyone could ever buy, and in the process sacrifice real happiness. I want to be able to go to bed at night with someone I care about, rather than alone no matter how gorgeous the space.

Because of this, it's fair for me to say I am always changing, always trying (at least) to improve and to know myself better so as of right now, these are somethings about me:

I love nature, music, art, traveling and conversations with people.
I'm a bit strange sometimes and quite enjoy making sound effects randomly.
I am passionate and I put my heart into things that I really believe in or love doing.
YES i DO have a nasty temper sometimes, but I'm trying to improve. I mean it.
I stress out beyond what I need to.
It bothers me when I can't understand someone or their way of thinking.
I try to be a good listener and offer advice from the heart, which has landed me in some less than desirable circumstances to say the least.
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, or if I am ready, but I know I will try nonetheless
I want a career in fashion (i think) and thats why I go to to FIT in New York City. Either way it's an experience.
I love and hurt deeply and personally.
I don't know everything, but I'm always trying to learn more.
I believe that everything happens for a reason.

So I hope that this has been somewhat entertaining somehow and let you in a bit more on who I am..

Until Next Time... re-evaluate yourself.. you might just be surprised with what you find!

To Jenna

2009-11-27T15:22:00.000-08:00

Dear Jenna,

I have typed and deleted this page about 10 times now and I just can't seem to figure out how I want to write this to you it's so frustrating- I have backspaced and backspaced and backspaced, and I can't find words good enough, but I think you will know what I am trying to say anyway-- you always do.

We have been friends since fourth grade and we have experienced so incredibly much together that it feels like I have lived more than one lifetime with you. You are the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for. We've been through thick and thin together most of the time, but even when we were too busy being mad at each other what we have has never been lost.

I remember one time, I think it was the summer after 6th grade and we hadn't been close in over a year. I called you up and asked if you wanted to come over. You said sure and when you first got there it was so awkward. Neither of us could think of what we wanted to say to each other, but then before we knew it we were right back at it like we'd never even skipped a beat of our friendship.

That isn't the only time that that has happened either and that is something that I adore about our friendship. No matter how big the blowout (and we both know there has been some intense ones), or no matter how much time passes, and life changes once we are hanging out it's like no time has passed between us at all. I never worry about how it will be the next time I see you.

Over the years you have made me have more laughs--and laugh harder than anyone else I can think of! All the times we just made each other laugh just because we couldn't stop laughing even if it was over nothing. I'll never forget the time that my parents went away to Canada for the weekend and you came over and we (or more likely you) were making dinner and you were getting out the pan and I looked in the window just in time so see your refection while you lost your balance and fell backwards onto the floor. That must have been one of our hardest laughs ever!

As I'm sitting here writing this, all of our good times- and bad are coming back to me, and I think that's what is making it so hard to write this, because I want to write about everything! All of our memories! But I can't because if I did this blog would never end. So since you also know all the memories already, I think the best thing I can do is to keep this simple.

So Jenna, I want to thank you for everything you are and everything you have ever done for me. Thank you for being the most unbelievable friend. You have been there for me through it all- the good times and the laughs, as well as the times where I was just completely miserable. More importantly, through everything you never ever judged me. You always accept me as I am and I am so grateful to you for that! In fact, you make me a better person just by being who you are! I think it's also fair to say that you understand me better than anyone else in the entire world. I hope that we'll be friends till the very end :)

And because words just can't do it justice I just think back to the summer to the night where we looked at the stars from your porch and had the inside of your house groovin' and I know that that feeling and that experience is the product of our friendship!

Thank you so much for being there :)

Love,

Ailee

Rothbury 2009

2009-11-22T20:15:00.000-08:00

So, I think that it might be fair to say that there's no place on earth like Rothbury, Michigan. Rothbury is something like a modern day woodstock, if not what original woodstockers' couldn't have imagined in their wildest dreams!--Ok so maybe they could imagine it, but to actually witness it as something tangible? Probably not. This past summer I was lucky enough to have a good group of friends who agreed to make the grueling 11 1/2 hour drive out in a small volvo standard overflowing with our camping apparatus which we would use for the weekend. We were all super and excited and I think I can speak for all of them when I say that we were not to be disappointed. The energy was unbelievable from the moment our car pulled into the gates to begin check in, to the day that we departed. Adventure and marvel was around every corner and not once throughout the weekend did I meet a mean and uncaring soul. Everything and everyone was absolutely exquisitely beautiful in its/his/her own way.

I think that there is a lot to be learned from a festival such as Rothbury. People may think that it's just some place where crazy hippies go to relive their glory days and take large quantities of mind altering substances.. and while that may very well be a part of it, it's so much more than that. It is a uniting, an understanding, a place where you can go to be yourself. And the amazing thing is that whether your love be art, music, people, food, crafts, clothes, or just a good time it's an experience that you are sharing with many others on a level not of this world. The peace, the love, the learning is all authentic and genuine. Needless to say, I plan to be in attendance next year!

I still run into people all over the place who have gone to Rothbury and share the same feeling towards it as myself and many others. So if you're looking for adventure or you need a life changing experience, or you're just plain bored.. consider a ticket and a trip, but more importantly, memories that will last you a lifetime.

until next time-- peace and love :)

The 2012 Prediction

2009-11-11T21:21:00.000-08:00

Let's face it, there's something in human beings that makes us all have this ever tumultuous love/hate relationship with the unknown. From mysteries to ghost stories and death people are absolutely enthralled and even they don't know why. Maybe that's why opinions on 2012 are becoming the greatest thing since the year of Y2K. Everybody has a thought or an opinion even if they won't share it about what they think is going to happen come December 21, 2012. Mainly thus far in the discussion amongst scholarly individuals there are 2 major theories. Either this is going to be a massive event in the process of human evolution or we will cease to exist as we know it. I myself fall into the former of the two.

I never really thought too hard about it before because I find there is also a fear that come along with the unknown and the fact that we never really get an answer until the day comes and the answer is finally presented to us. However, this past summer I was getting my hair cut/colored and while I was waiting for the dye to set in I had a full 18 minutes of nothing to do, and a pile of magazines in front of me. Although InTouch weekly and Star magazine crossed my mind..(how could I live without knowing about Britney's latest) my eye fell instead, to a magazine I had never really bothered to pick up: Interview Magazine Any way upon shifting through the large glossy pages I happened upon this article with John Pinchbeck and was immediately captivated.

Now I could go on and on about what he said, but check out the links above for yourself. Who knows you might just find what you were looking for.

check out this video too! Come 2012

Hope this gave some of you food for thought!

Until next time.. imagine

it has to be them

2009-11-08T19:25:00.000-08:00

You know, it's a funny thing, to want. And I'm not talking about wanting something material but instead wanting something for someone else that they don't wish to achieve for themselves.

A friend of mine and I were recently talking and came upon the topic of my mother's alcoholism. He asked me "why can't you help her?" and I told him that I have and do but it doesn't matter because she doesn't want to help herself. He then asked me, well "what's next?" and I replied "letting go" because if I don't I fear that my constant stressing and worrying about the next time I'll find her blitzed will land me in the same position she's currently in. He then proceeded to tell me "I know you've been through a lot but this is your mom killing herself" And the thing is he's right and I know that. And I see where he's coming from but there is just one problem.

I can want to help with all of my power, love and time, but if the person I am trying to help, doesn't want to take it upon themselves to make a decision with me to help themselves then all I can offer is lost. It doesn't matter how bad you want something for somebody, if they don't want it for themselves you can't do anything about it.

This goes for other things in life as well. You can give all the advice you want to someone and carry on kicking and screaming but until they recognize that they need to make a change for themselves regarding whatever it is you will remain completely and utterly powerless. And to force something, is to just push them farther away. And it doesn't matter how obvious it is to you, it's all in what they WANT to see.

It's one of the hardest lessons I think a person has to learn, but it is reality.

It's not that we've all given up on the ones we love, it's just we can't be a part of them hurting themselves anymore and so we will wait patiently for them until they SEE the truth of what their lives have become and when they allow themselves to receive help, we will be there thankful at last.

until next time, encourage, but realize the choice is not your own.

who are they kidding?

2009-11-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

I have an extreme issue with the pharmaceutical/drug industry. Let me explain.

I think all of America has seen these commercials for anti-depression medications on the TV. If you haven't well then you must be living under a rock-- no offense. Anyway I can't stand them! They are complete bullshit. You know why? Because people DO NOT NEED anti-depressants! Look this is LIFE and sometimes let's face it, LIFE SUCKS and so we can't all be happy 24/7 365 it's just not realistic. Well these companies want to capitalize on that. They want to sell you things you don't need that don't even help you. Let's break this down for a moment...

Do you feel anxious? unhappy? and experience loss of interest? Do you answer yes to these questions? Then you have depression--WRONG! It's called being human. I guarantee that America's wait no.. the WORLD's population could get a prescription for anti-depressants if we all wanted to.

Next these commercials are completely manipulating. They all do the same exact thing. They show pictures of people really happy strolling to their mailboxes, or at a party while nice pretty music plays in the background (knowing most people respond to visual) Meanwhile the voice is telling you something to this effect.. "this medication is not acceptable for everyone.. if you have kidney, liver, lung, (basically any problems with any vital organ) do not take this, also thoughts of suicide may occur; do not drive or operate any machinery as memory loss and blackouts can occur" and at this point I'm like WHAT? Are you KIDDING? It's preposterous.

Look, I know some drugs are necessary and medicine can do some wonderful things, but may I also point out this little tid- bit of information. What is the point of medicine? To make you get better right? Well then let me ask you this.. if you're on anti-depressants and you ask your doctor, "hey doctor when will I be better? When can I stop taking this medication" You know what the answer is? NEVER! Once they have you as their patient they have you for life and they are making you spend money on and even worse making you think you need things that you DON'T!

You know what anti-depressants are? Pretty much synthetic heroin, one of the most addictive forms of prescription meds.. and you know what they do to you? Make you nothing but a shell, they take your personality and stomp all over it and you don't feel ANYTHING (yes that includes happy emotions too)

And you know what? PEOPLE! Instead of taking some anti-depressants why don't you just go and smoke some good weed for crying out loud! And I don't think that I'm alone on this one seeing as an article on just this was written in beauty's most prominent magazine, Allure. As of now I can't find the specific date but I believe it was published in July 2006 in their "Mood News" section. Another similar article was written in another prominent magazine, Marie Claire. The story was called "Stiletto Stoners" and was featured in the October 2009 issue on pg. 100.

All I'm saying is, next time one of these commercials is on ... listen.. really listen.

until next time.. peace

"Be Here Now"

2009-11-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

Life is a constant learning experience. There have been so many times when I have practically thought myself into tears in terms of all of life's unknowns. Where am I going? Will I ever get where I want to be? How can I do this, and that? There is so much that people constantly worry about but I am learning how silly it is to worry. The amount of unnecessary stress that is caused by worrying is rediculous, and even worse could eventually end your life! Talk about scary! Which is why it is so important to "Be Here Now" The moment is the only thing that is relevant. Seriously. Right now. That's it. It's so simple because the past doesn't matter-- you have no control over it, and the future is irrelevant because we haven't gotten there yet. The only thing that is important is the moment.

In the last year, my dad recommended a book to me, which in fact has been the basis of this post. The book is called "Be Here Now" and was written by Baba Ram Dass, who was formally known as Dr. Richard Alpert. I suggest it as a good read for anyone who wants a different and more open perspective towards life. It has definitely shaped mine and I am so glad to have read it.

Until next time, remember: Be Here Now