A Bit From My Past

Today I am bringing a special treat to those reading this. I've just gone over my most recent journal and I decided I'm going to share a few excerpts from my thoughts past that really got me thinking again...

enjoy.

3/18/09 9:54 PM

...Ugh. Death. It's just such a huge concept and so unknown and so.... inconvenient. That sounds horrible doesn't it? Of course death is inconvenient what else is it going to be? I wonder why life is the way it is. Why do you learn how to cope with one tragedy and then receive another? It really makes me wonder if everyone has a final date already set and thats it for you, that is your DAY, the day death is yours. Or, is it just random? You don't have a time, things just happen and they are unlucky. Of course no one knows, or do they? What about those people who die, and are officially dead but are revived back to life. Do they know what death is like? Can they remember? Can they tell us? When they were dead I wonder if a voice told them it was not their time yet and they were allowed to come back to life. I want to meet one of these people. Maybe they know more than the rest of us. I don't want want to deal with all this. It's so frustrating. Sometimes when I think about life and death, living and dying the concepts are so wide and abstract and they are real. Or are they? I don't really like it when my mind wanders to these places because it is such an intense thing to grasp. There's a lot I think people don't realize like time moves incredibly fast, and a person's lifetime is an eternity to them, but nothing in the sense of overall time. Everyone is going to get older and eventually they will die. It's so odd. These concepts all seem so upfront until you really explore them. Life, Death its so uncertain. If you live in fear of dying isn't a part of you already dead? I don't know. This probably doesn't make any sense. Who knows....


7/7/09 9:37 PM


....WHY am I so angry? I didn't know I was that angry. I guess now I know. But what's next? I don't want to be angry anymore. I can't be angry anymore. I just can't do it. I've got to start over. I've got to let it ALL go. Everything. And start new. I've got to try at least. I HAVE to be different....


....Life is so confusing. I don't know what I want anymore. Things I used to dream of don't really make sense anymore. But part of me still wants them. Most of us (humans) are all fake. We act like we are golden and we do so much but secretly we're selfish. The world is selfish. Human wants are infinite. Nothing and no one is/are what they seem....


7/19/09 11:53 PM

Detached from the world is how I spent my day....

Today I had a thought about cars. They are so strange. It's like we're all driving our own little capsules! Odd Odd Odd!

The book Be Here Now= extraordinary absolutely mind blowing!


8/1/09 2:45 AM

Why is it that I'm always up late? I don't like to sleep late.....


...this isn't all about me. It is about us.
America, the world, we all need to wake the fuck up! Stop being oppressed. 
People need to FEEL again. The world has been too NUMB.


That is what is happening. People are becoming numb.


I will not be numb. I always want to feel the world, the universe. I want to interact.
Everyone should interact!!

I work at Barley. Do you know what I notice? I notice people avoid eye-contact and become nervous around people (myself and others) greeting them at the door. It is so odd. Most people would rather just walk by and ignore the person.


A very imporant movie: Waking Life
A good game: scattergories. I can't believe I haven't played in so long, it's great brain exercise! I love it.








Well that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed.
Until next time.. relive your own moments, you'll find yourself revealed in them.